Everything in life can be related to sex, even (if not especially) marketing.
Well that got your attention now didn’t it! But I’m serious. Marketing is very much like dating, and we all date(d) in order to get “lucky,” and, while were at it, we (usually) like to build relationships so that we can get lucky on a regular basis, which is like having a good, regular, repeating client; so yes, marketing and sex are definitely related.
Think about dating…you see someone you find attractive in some way, you approach that person, you get to know him/her a bit, then you make your pitch (ask for a date). Sometimes you get a “no” to your pitch. If it’s someone you are really interested in, you have the choice to give up, or to keep trying. I suggest “keep trying.”
People often want to have their value validated somehow by external means (and no, I’m not going into the potential mental health reasons for this). Think about all the Hummers and bling out there–all external “validators” of individuals’ value. Anyway, this kind of thinking can result in people saying “no” even when they are interested in your pitch. They want to know they are worth the effort to “win.”
We see this all the time in dating–guys who won’t call right away so they won’t appear to eager, women who say “no” to a Saturday date because it’s after Wednesday, etc.–and it shows up in our marketing too. Maybe you meet with a potential client and they say they love your work, but don’t have anything for you now. If you don’t keep in touch–keep asking/pitching–you will never get to “yes, we have a project for you.”
Once you do get to yes, then the work of building the relationship begins in earnest. You’ve made it past the first set of validation hurdles, now you need to keep that person feeling special and worthwhile. Your first project (=first date) is where you have to build trust and set the framework of a respectful, potentially long-term relationship. Make and keep promises (under-promise and over-deliver is a good thing to do) and also go out of your way to do something to make the client feel special. For example, make notes in each of your calls and talks so that you can find something to connect on–like maybe the client mentioned being very stressed–why not have a coupon for a massage delivered, or even have masseuse on set (if you’re a photographer) to give in-chair shoulder rubs to the whole circus of clients at the shoot?
If you think this is crazy, think about how many times you’ve seen the stunning woman with the dweeby guy, or vice-versa (or whatever “unequal” combo you choose). Why are they together? Because the one person reached out to the other and made her/him feel special. So you can do with your business–ask, ask again, and make your potential clients feel special.