This may seem a bit of an odd topic for this blog, but really, it’s not. Anger is something we all face, but I’ve found that it doesn’t generally do much good. Seems the science backs my attitude on this.
I used to be much angrier. I took things very personally and suffered often from what could be called “righteous anger.” That’s a big family trait on my mother’s side. Seething, bitching…”It’s not fair!” and “It shouldn’t be like that!” are popular exclamations. Lots of “passion” but, really, nothing ever felt better or got accomplished–I mean, afterwards, I would just feel tired…and still angry.
My father, however, has always been very level-headed and even when things seemed overwhelmingly “wrong” he would always try to see both sides. I started studying Buddhism, learned to let go of my seething, etc., and in the process have become very much like my dad. It turns out that my barely Protestant father is, in some ways, a natural-born Buddhist. Go fig. Treat everyone with respect at all times, even when you disagree with them completely–that seems to be Dad’s way, and I think it’s a good way.
My point is, these days it is very, very easy to get angry. Venting and writing nasty blog posts (which, yes, I still do sometimes–I’m not perfect!!!) and digging in your heels won’t do much good. Instead, I think looking for solutions is much more productive.
For example, the C-Registry.us problems I posted about a couple of days ago. Since that post, I have spoken with several people, including Randy from that site, and things are changing. I’m not sure where this will end, but by being polite and open to discussion, I think ALL sides on the issue have a very good chance at reaching a good place.
I could have just decided that no matter what he was a bad guy and the company was bad and railed and railed against it, or I could look at what was good and what was bad, and then help try to get things fixed.
In business, being open to seeing the problems and trying to find solutions and/or ways of mitigating those problems makes more sense than just getting angry and complaining about it. Righteous anger is still anger, and it doesn’t help–it ends up being “cutting off your nose to spite your face.” Instead remember that your “enemy” is only an imperfect human, just like you, and try to find a way through it. You’ll find you can then talk with them and, when you let go of the anger, hear them when they talk too. Your business will be the better for it.
I hear what you are saying. The boxer, when he’s in the ring, will make costly mistakes if he loses his temper.
But don’t you think that being angry can sometimes become a motivated call to action? Let’s say you have a “Client From Hell.” They continually make you angry. What are you going to do? You just might create an Anger Tax so that you can keep smiling. But chances are the Anger Tax will cause your client to go make someone else angry.
I’m not saying we should unleash our anger. It needs to be controlled. It should never be misdirected. And, above all, should you become angry, you shouldn’t allow yourself to become emotional or allow it to be taken to a personal level.
Sometimes your anger may cause someone else to see your point of view. I think the key is to remain respectable and not lash out. And your anger shouldn’t be used to create an alliance of like-minded people.
If I read you right, you are saying that it’s easy to get angry about things that you have NO control over. Complaining is useless and is a waste of energy. Be the boxer and don’t lose your temper.
Leslie,
Not only do I agree with you, I’ll add that when I hear folks say (or catch myself saying) something/somebody ‘made’ me angry, I chuckle. Nothing ‘makes’ us angry, we allow ourselves to become caught up in the emotion and it causes us to to shut down our reasoning ability, just what we don’t need to have happen just at the moment we need our most level thinking. There’s a reason why anger is associated with madness – it can literally make us crazy for the time we’re caught up in it.
One of the best solutions I find for not getting angry is to be well rested, well fed and well read – in short – having some balance in my life. It’s when I’m out of whack that the anger arises. To paraphrase Pogo, I have seen the enemy and he is me.
Charles
http://charlesgupton.wordpress.com/
While anger can motivate it doesn’t resolve. Regarding the the above mentioned C-Registry.us problems that have angered me; relieving the anger doesn’t give a free pass to the offending party for their actions.
One hardly launches a company without serious though and many decisions having been made and for those people to proceed in the manner they did then rush in with apologies after the fact may make me less angry but certain doesn’t resolve my issues or restore any confidence in them. See response from C-Registry.us excepted from a mass emailing to ASMP members below.
Randy Taylor, a co-creator of C-Registry.us has responded with the following statement:
“In retrospect, we were overly zealous with our marketing language in trying to call attention to this issue of how users find photographers from their images online. Thanks to ASMP’s input, we revised that language and started addressing any misperceptions that might have resulted. We’ve also started a blog to keep photographers informed at c-registry-copyright-forum.blogspot.com. We invite everyone to request a live web demo, “kick the tires” and discover the benefits of The Copyright Registry.”
Apparently their approach has angered a lot of their potential customer base and they are doing their best to mitigate what has already transpired. It will take a significant amount of work on their part to make me believe they are actually listening and changing rather than just attempting to placate me.
This can be a case study in the consequences of angering your clients. They could end up being first in and dominate the market or they could just go away.
Jim:
I think you’ve missed my point entirely.
-L